What I want?

A good friend said to me today;

'Be honest with your heart'

And that is the hardest thing to do in life.

I usually ask myself, what do I want and try to be honest to myself.
My answer will be - I don't know

I don't know what I want and that sucks!
Its like walking without stepping on earth and just walk.
No destination
No aim
No goal
No results

Just walk and see what will happen.

When I was 12 years old,
I decided to do what I love the most - Dancing
I left my whole life in Malaysia, with that awesome feelings of knowing what I want to do.

Later in my life, I live it like there's no tomorrow.
Loving every moment of it, and knowing what I want.
Knowing exactly what I want.

When I was 16, I decided to come back home.
Because I was drifted away with all the social life and not doing what I want.

Came back, and continue to do what I want.
And i felt amazing.

December last year, I graduated. With Diploma in my hand.
It was amazing because I didn't know that I am capable of doing that.
I took the risk in order to get what I want.

Then, it all went so blur.
Sitting around not knowing what I want.
Rethinking, whether what I want is possible.
Redoing, hoping that what I want will come rolling to my feet.

Then, a wake up call
Now, I'm running chasing after what I want.

After so many years I have the courage to stand strong.
To stand tall.
To stand and look forward.

But still, my heart are not fill with all the joy that I should be feeling.

Realize how many 'what I want in this post'?

Because I used to be so sure